


fallen star

by Soraofuranus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, No really how do I tag?, Other, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black Free from Azkaban, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black-centric, if thats what you want you wont find it here, ill probaly add more as the story goes on, im sorry, kind of, the main hp cast are mentioned in two chapters but its still sirius black centirc, the relationship is only slightly hinted at and this isnt a really big shippy thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soraofuranus/pseuds/Soraofuranus
Summary: Harry and his friends found a way to restore the veil, and make sure no one would end the same way Sirius black did. what they didn't know was that souls don't die straight away once falling through. the body in front of them should prove thatthe only problem there not waking up stuck going through their memories.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 12





	1. blacks dont die easily

**Author's Note:**

> I used google translate for the Latin so I'm sorry. also, I've never written for this fandom ( and this is like my second fanfic) so the characters are gonna be oc and I'm sorry.
> 
> also probably 100 spelling mistakes-I'm sorry

“I've got it!” a loud rambunctious voice rang out among the still slightly damaged Hogwarts library. 4 heads all looked up from their multiple books, all showing signs of exhaustion but that one line- the only to be said in hours- bolstered their mood by millions. A delighted female voice from the astute girl followed   
“Harry please don't be messing with us, we've been searching for months and I don't think any of us can handle a false spell again”. A combination of humms of agreements soon sounded after.  
“No really it's true we can destroy the veil with the spell, all the souls of the lost trapped falling will be free and no one will end the way they did” the name Sirius black didn't even need to be spoken to know that's what he meant.

His death had been so fast, Harry's closest thing he had to a father and he never truly got to say goodbye. He never got to ask about his dad nor his godfather. Harry had been depressed for weeks after he had died, took McGonagall telling him stories of their pranks till he cheered up.

“Well then pott- harry, how do we cast this? It must be hard or else someone would have destroyed it by now. I should hope” the piercing voice of Draco spoke the question they all had in their heads when Ginny first asked if they could.

“It's kind of simple strangely enough however its darks magic..” the scared boy trailed of  
“It doesn't matter. That's the Gryffindor way, isn't it? Break a couple of rules for the great of good” Ginny said, her cheeky smile betraying her sophisticated facade.  
“Right, um the master spellcaster must use the elder wand to draw the symbol of the deathly hallow facing the veil. The 4 spell servants must stand in a square around them and chant the spell tempora mors super animas eorum ad Deum liberum non debitum impendebant hisce tribus. Baculum magicum vestis, et Stygio praetexam longe procul ab nostris expugnatisque nobis egrediatur de terra est. whilst they put an offering of great value in the veil. The spell master then follows with handing the elder wand and invisibility cloak through. The veil will then be struck by black lighting and will crumble in a flash of white light.to do this the master spellcaster must contain great skill in thaumaturgy” he resisted from the dust battered book '' simple” he finished with his dorky crooked smile, a glint in his eye.

“This sounds like a horrible idea” Ron whined, knowing full well everyone had already agreed to it and he had no choice.

5 figures could be seen walking towards the veil, the middle holding the elder wand and an invisible cloak.  
The platinum blond boy next to him holding a staff his dad gave him recently- a sign of his love for him and how he's powerful no matter what the thoughts in his head say, and the wise girl next to him held he mothers necklace-a family heirloom.   
the ginger-haired boy on the other side holding a cleansweep eleven broom- brought by his parents in fifth year for becoming a prefect and the younger girl next to him holding a tattered teddy her eldest brother gave her as a child

They had talked about the ritual with multiple people, all asking if it was ok and explaining the spell so many times they could recite the entire page in their sleep, and in Hermione's case, she had. They had all spent a long time thinking of their most private possessions, for some it was hard- they had too many and others they had too little but they had chosen and they were confident. They had practiced for a month and they were ready.

The veil stood proud in the foggy, gloomy, darkroom. Like a throne of death in a haunted castle. The quiet screams could be heard coming from it eco around, amplified in their anxious hearts. The 5 bodys got into their positions around the chthonic veil, a wave of emotions running over them, fear, relief, content, the tidal wave of emotions was almost drowning- forcing them to take a minute or 2 and just breath. 

“Are we all ready?” the boy who had saved the world asked.  
Shortcut nods where his only reply, everyone to focus on the ritual to even think of saying anything else.  
“Then we begging”

The for chanted the spell, all holding their items out towards the veil as Harry drew the symbol with the elder wand with a white light in front of him, the small glow of the lines illuminating the area around them. Ginny placed her item first into the veil- some of the cracks started glowing the same white as the symbol, next was Hermione with the necklace, and the light traveled further through the cracks. Next was Ron, on shaky feet and with trembling nerves passed the broom through the gate. Draco was last with a tight grip on his staff; he bulked before he finally gave it to the veil. All the cracks were glowing a luminescent white, power radiating off it in pulses. Harry sauntered over to the veil, ready to offer the wand and cloak.

The light shining from the cracks only grey brighter, till all you could see was pure white like a star until finally, a blazing bolt of pure black lighting struck the top, shattering the veil into hundreds of chunks around the room.

That was when they noticed a familiar body………..

…….Sirius black


	2. A griffindoors courage   (Peter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first memory

Sirius and peter wandered down the halls, classes had finished an hour ago but they had to stay behind. Stupid detentions. Peter was talking sirius ear off about some random thing, and while Sirius wasn't exactly focusing on what he said he enjoyed the other company. The voice in the air helped with blocking out his thoughts of how his family must be disappointed in him and how he failed them.

He had always known he was the failure, the beast of the family. No matter how hard he tried to be the son his parents wanted, a perfect heir for the black name he always failed.

Now it wasn't that he didn't like his gryffindor friends, not at all their all fun in their own way. Its just they aren't purebloods. His parents might be happy about potter but lupin and pettigrew they'll hate. And he can't even hide them from his parents since the slyverin familys love to talk.

He hadn't realised he had retreated into his head till he noticed they had walked in the wrong direction, instead of being surrounded by brave Gryffindors and warm rust ref banners they were surrounded by greed clad walls and sneaky sliverings. Its seems neither of us had noticed till we heard a comment clearly aimed at us

"Awww the little kittens think they can come to the snakes nest, so cute" a whiney, thin voice broke through the constant whispers. It came from the center of a group of second-year slytherins.

"The tall kitty is a black, such a mistake. I wouldn't be surprised if they kicked him out. I know i would" came from the boy next to her his tone strident and thinner than the last.

And after that, it became an all-out war to tarnish my name and who I am

"Such a filthy blood traitor, hanging around with those mudbloods and that other blood traitor potter"

"I can only hope they banish him before he tarnishes their name anymore"

"Oh be kind, maybe they'll whip him into shape and fix his messed up morals"

" oh that would be wonderful, but if they can't maybe they'll hang him out as a plaything- my dads been looking for one of those"

"Please with that figure it just wouldn't work, a manservant would work so much better"

"HA, 'man' please that things a monster"

"Look at the monsters not even talking back" the first screechy voice continued at the convo station and it was then I found we were no longer walking just standing still staring at the floor in resentment. Resentment of Gryffindor. Resentment of my bent morals. Resentment of myself. I hadn't even noticed I had skipped so much of the conversation till that horrific, screeching sound- a noise that could rival a harpy and WIN- rattled down the hall.

" take a look at this monster, he doesn't know how to communicate"

"His minds in a different place, will everybody please give him a little bit of space" that wonderful. magnificent, angelic, and magnetic voice from my side was belted out at them.

He had defended me?

Why?

Why would he defend a monster like me?

A disgrace?

A worthless piece of trash?

Their right im a monster?

A worthless monster with no communication skills. A monster with destroyed morals. A monster in human flesh, just waiting for a moment where my true form can rear its ugly head everyone away from me.

So why. Why is this wonderful boy next to me protecting me?"

"Shut you filthy mouths you snakes, Sirius is one of the most amazing people in this entire school- heck no the world! Your luck to have him even in your presence yet it seems you choose to mock this amazing man-you, you worthless sliverings!" the holy boy shouted at them.

The entire hallway went silent. No one expects something like that. Not about a black nor from the small boy.

The group of sliverings he had shouted at awoke first, pointing their twisty turny charcoal black wands at us, muttering the sound of a hex, I assume something small like large teeth or couloured hair but I wouldn't put it past them for something more.... Sinister. Noticing them I quickly pulled peter out of the way, then pulled out my reed wand and cast a bat boogie hex on them, distracting them long enough for us to leave

Maybe it won't be as bad as I thought, with my friends here to help me and keep me company. And ok so maybe some of them are very..... Proud. Maybe. Just maybe.

Some have good reason to be.


	3. wise words (professor McGonagall)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second memory 
> 
> im sorry i cant spell her name to save my life and theres probably 5 different spellings, try to ignore them

Howls of the wind could be heard all around him. The warm glow transmitting from the red desert plato's blending into warm waters in the sky wash over his face, a soft smile crossing his face. Fluffy, wispy, cotton clouds scatter the sky framing the burning yellow sun, slowly rising from the black siloet of the ground. Sirius slowly breathed in the fresh morning air with a shaky gasp, the tears slowly, gracefully sliding down his face cooling his cheeks. God I'm such a mess he thought as he gazed out across the slowly amber turning land.

"I thought stars wern't crepuscular hmm Mr Black?" the soft, old, and calming voice of professor McGonagall called out to me from the other side of the top of the astronomy tower.

"Mmmm technically their nocturnal since they dont show at day miss" he backfired at her, a small smirk gracing his face at his witty remark but it didn't hold the spark of mischief it normally does.

A small subtle smile fell upon her old slightly chapped lips before it fell and a vile feeling made it self home in her stomach once she realised there wasn't his usual light, confidence in his tone, and a pained look in his eyes that she had grown used to in the months he had been at hogwarts.

Gliding over, her smalls black heels tapping against the cold, stone bricks to make her way over to him on the ledge, seeing his feat slowly swaying as he leans back on his hands, and slowly lowered herself to sit with him. Squinting as the shadows that kept her eyes safe from the blinding light fled in fear of the ember glow.

They both just sat there, observed as the sun slowly filled out and became a full circle and hovered in warm light. The morning breeze calmed down to a gentle sway of trees and strands of stray hair blowing in a subtle, gentle way. The few birds that flew this high where the only thing other to be heard were the professor's slow deep breaths and the boy with soft caramel curls shallow, slightly pained breaths.

The professor had noticed the strange breaths quickly after she had sat down, and immediately did a once over the boy, hoping to find something that might be causing him pain. Not noticing anything she hoped he would talk to her about it, but knowing how hard the boy found it to open up about his emotions she chose not to push. Just remind him hes not alone.

Yeah it might be a tad odd a student and a teacher sitting together at sunrise but to them it wasn't teacher and student. It was like a mentor and mentee- no. it wasn't one being higher and the other lower. At that moment they where equals. Friends almost.

Almost. She was still a wrinkly old hag and he was still a young youthal pesk.

They had been sitting there for almost twenty minuets before sirius broke the silence, the words falling from his lips startling the professor.

"Why does it have to hurt so much?"

The professor paused for a moment, not expecting words like that coming from a 12 year olds lips. Or any kid for that matter.

"What do you mean dear? What hurts?"she replied, her tone only slightly giving away her shock of the question, but her sincerity and comforting in her voice was what really hit Sirius first, taking all his attention away from the slight waver.

"Everything.... Just- I- if i had to narrow it down i suppose it would be my heart" a slight pause "my heart maybe?" he muttered, slowly raising his legs up and swiveling round to sit cross legged facing her.

Following his lead she raised her legs and sat back a little bit, her legs out straight and crossed at the ankle.

"By everything do you mean emotional or physical?" her soft voice sooving sirius if only a little and the kind,wise and gentle eyes softening at the sight of the now building tears in his eyes.

His bottom lip quivered, trying to keep his tears back and not burst into tears, not in front of a teacher, not in front of a friend. Shutting his eyes and pushing his tears back, a shaky deep breath was pulled in from him before he finally muttered out

"Emotional"

"Mmm a hard one to fix, no spell strong enough to heal it, however i think i have some magic i can use, now could you tell me what's making it hurt?" and with those few words it was like a dam had been broken and the rivers of tears Sirius had been holding back flooded down his cheeks like waterfalls.

A choked sob fell from his lips before McGonagall pulled him into a tight, warm, safe hug, holding him under her chin and shushing him quietly. Not judgemental like others do but caring. Something so unfamiliar to him he couldn't even attempt to hold back the whimper that left him.

That's how they sat for around 10 minutes, Sirius sobbing into her tear soaked shoulder and McGonagall rocking him back and forth. Neither uncomfortable. Just content to comfort and be comforted. something neither had done in years.It was nice

Soon Sirius sobs turning to quiet hiccups and small sniffles. McGonagall continued to hold him, not planning to let him go anytime soon.

"Just- just knowing i let my family down- i'm a gryffindor for god sake! What black becomes a gryffindor?" he uttered small sniffles interrupting his sentence.

"A wonderful one, a one who looks past himself and a black with wonderful morals-must i continue stating why you deserve to be in gryffindor?"she rebutted, fully ready to continue if she must but before she could sirius insisted

"But i'm not any of those things! I'm a selfish prick who only thinks of himself and I'm cowardly since I just shield away and protect myself not my friends- heck peters a more worthy gyfindoor than me! Not to mention in the words of my family im a dimwit twat who can't even get into the house he was practically born in- only a true idiot would mess that up"

"Please your anything but selfish sirius, i know you stay up late to help peter with his work, i know you helped lily with some of the material we learnt in transfiguration- and no if your where cowardice you wouldn't be in gryffindor but. you are- and yes you were put into the house you were 'born' into. gryffindor.

We know what the blacks are like- you're not the first we've had and putting up with them is the strongest thing i can think of right now."she argued back, so much confidence in her voice it was impossible to even attempt to argue with her.

With no comment to fire back at her they both fell into silence, still in a deep hug just calmly gazing off into the horizon. The once ombre sky of pastel pinks and oranges was now a ochen of baby blue seas, sea foam covered small patches, wispy and swirly like a whirlpool and blocky like islands.

"But miss.... Why does it have to hurt? Why me? Why in our magical" he shot a hand out and pointed to the sky" a wonderful, mythical world has to leave us in a storm of hurt and pain?" he begged, hoping, pleading. Crying out for an answer. Just something to explain why he had hurt. Why anyone had to hurt. What was the point if all he did was hurt.

"You" she paused, whether she was thinking for words or for dramatic effect Sirius didn't know- nor did he care, he was getting an answer. "Are terribly real,good-hearted things in a terribly false,hateful world, and that is why I believe you're in so much pain," she answered. She spoke as if she knew. She spoke as if that was the only answer that I need to accept at the moment. Like it's the truth. No not like it was the truth.

Neither said anything after that. Just sat there. A few more minutes before Professor McGonagall interrupted their peaceful silence.

" you should get to bed tho sirius. You should have school in a few hours, however I think today 'you're too sick to come'. And if you need to talk to some older people, know i'm here. Just maybe don't come find me early in the morning?" she ended with a small giggle, a silent one leaving sirius before

"I believe you're the one who found me" a yawn broke the sentence "but yeah.. Sleep sounds good." hesitantly he pulled back and looked her in the eye

" thank you" he said, voice full of sincerity

They quietly stood up and made their way down the tower, parting at the bottom. A slight nod of the head from both- a goodbye- and then Sirius crawled his way down the halls to gryffindor common room.

They had both silently agreed not to mention this meeting to anyone- and if they treated each other slightly better the next day well no one commented on it.


	4. armoured scars (remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> third memory
> 
> Still cant spell in general and im sorry

Remus was traveling through the halls, away from the dining hall and towards the Gryffindor common room- though to be more precise his joined bedroom with the rest of the marauders.  
James and Peter were still in the hall, stuffing their faces with baked goods and joking with each other, they had eaten enough for a greek army and Remus was surprised they hadn't puked over the table and James new robes. He had joined in the joking, waiting for their last gremlin to join them, Sirius, who had told them to head down before him- presumably wanting a shower. Or as James had mocked ‘do his girly skincare routine and beautify his unruly hair like the princess he is’.

This had happened a lot at the start of second year- now being a few months into the year it felt like nothing had changed, too common in their daily routine to even think twice about it. He wants a shower in the morning, not the end of the world. Except it didn't sit right with Remus. Sirius often showered in the morning but also the evening , either-or, but today it was both. That was odd. That's what Remus had been telling himself for the past 20 minutes.

Muttering the password, it was butterbeer this year, to the painting and walking in he strolled up to their room. Pushing open the door and eyeing the mess of their room, bed unmade, trunks half-empty with books and rappers thrown around the room. Eww. they'd have to clean that up later , but that wasn't the matter at hand. that was finding Sirius. Not hearing the soft pitter-patter of the spray of water on the smoove, cool stone he assumed Sirius's shower must be over, probably changing or drying his shoulder-length locks. He must use a spell right? How else would they always be so dry in the morning?

Waiting for a few minutes Remus got anxious. What was taking Sirius so long? Deciding to check on him he got up from the bed he had been waiting on and knocked on the chipped wooden door. Three loud knocks rang out, alerting the inhabitance of the bathroom before the door swang open.

The room was dead silent. Both frozen in fear, astonishment, anxiety? No one knew but time stood still. Their, perfect, flawless skinned, not a blemish in sight, Sirius Black stood in the bathroom- shirtless and hair a bedraggled mess- with scars of all different shapes and sizes littering that flesh he could see. Sirius was mid-way through a spell- hiding his scars.  
“Get out!” Sirius screamed covering up what he could with the shirt left on the counter, dropping his ashen wand with wide- pained eyes.

Respecting his wishes Remus stumbled out, pulling the door closed in worry and quickly stating  
“We’re going to talk about this when your finished” and returned to the bed he had left- pondering what he had witnessed

Very soon Sirius escaped the bathroom, a shirt on with a few scars still on his face, and made a beeline to the bed. Sitting next to remus he crossed his legs, fiddling with the bed sheets and not looking up. 

As remus looked at his friend we noticed the patterns of scars covering his skin. There was a large scar going up his side- hip to the bottom of the ribs. A scar that looked like a burn mark on his shoulder and a few scattered across his chest, all neat and clearly placed with a purpose.

A couple graced his face, a small one across his nose and one near his jaw- how many more there were before Remus arrived he doesn't know. 

The eerie silence was broken by a small choked sob that slipped past sirius slightly chapped lips. He was slightly shaking, his bottom lip clasped between his teeth and eyes squeezed shut- stifling his sobs. Immediately Remus pulled him in, tucking the other boys head under his and burying his nose in the chocolate brown locks affectionately.

Sirius had his fist tight on his robes like a vice and clung for dear life as he cried into his chest. Remus slowly rocked them, whispering comforting words into Sirius' ear, hoping to help him and calm him down, as he rubbed his back slowly in random patterns. They stayed like that for eternity, neither focusing on anything but that moment, and time seemed like a phantom thing in the back of their minds

After Sirius's pained sobs died down to small puppy like siffles and they pulled apart, Remus taking Sirius's hand in his and rubbing his knuckles slowly in a soothing manner.

“You want to talk about that siri?” Remus asked, hopeful to know what had happened.  
A small humm of agreement left sirius and he took a deep breath, steading himself for what was about to come.

“I have scars- ugly,hideous ones- everywhere and i don't want them nor like them and they just remind me of how much i mess up and how i shame my family and i just want them gone”Sirius spoke, voice full of sorrow and quivering like a leaf in wind

“Siri your scars aren't ugly- they never will be” Remus told him, voice so full of sincerity it was as if he had been on a train of doubt only to crash into a wall- or asleep when a bucket of freezing water work him up. 

Sirius looked up, shocked at what Remus has said yet he believed them. He may not agree but he believes Remus,more than himself normal, and sure in him. There where many things he wanted to say at that point but one thing was buzzing in his mind.

“How do you do it?” He asked  
Puzzled Remus answered “how do I do what?”  
“Act confident with your scars? Not want to cover them and hide away in shame and fear and guilt?”

“Oh I suppose it’s because I’ve learnt to accept them, wear them like parts of a knights armour and be as proud of them as a lion. Granted I still have my thought days where I do feel like that but you guys definitely help” he replayed with a small smiles on his face and a light dusting of pink gracing his cheeks at the end.

With out warning Sirius jumped at Remus, burying his face in the other boys shoulder and holding on tight.  
“I don’t think I can do that just yet” he spoke sadly  
“No ones asking you to, but we’ll get there one day I promise. Together. Like always from now on”. 

Both stayed like that, smiling brightly and faces pink like sunsets but happy and content to not move. 

They may have been late, 3 lessons late, to class but they both felt happier and Sirius felt more confident- even if he still chose to hide his scars. He’ll show them. One day. 

He just hopes Remus will be With him when it happens.


	5. A lion’s cowardice (snape)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snapes chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has mentions of abuse however it’s not the main theme for this chapter but just in case please be carful

He hadn't meant for this to happen, hadn't meant for Remus's secret to be found and his friends, and sniv- snape, to be put in danger. He hadn't thought, though when does he, and now Remus was going to be Expelled at least.

He doesn't even know why he told snape about the tree. No,that's a lie he knows exactly what made him say what he said.

'You can either tell me where all you menevelous marauders go or I might just happen to let slip how mummy and daddy ab-'

And he had lost it. That word. Stupid, lying, weak word that he refused to even think about describing what was happing. They where punishments. Punishments he HAD earned.

No one even knew of the punishments and no one knew how much he detests that disgusting word.

But Snape. Snape knew. He knew exactly what to say and how to say it to get under his skin until he just lost it, shouted out what Snape was looking for and regretting it instantly. But he couldn't take it back, didn't know-how. Didn't want to.

He was selfish. Selfish and that had cost everything. That's what left him crying in the owlery as his friends deal with each other and the professors dealing with Snape.

He didn't know what time it was but he had stopped crying and now was sniffling as the owls stated annoyed, or pitting him. He doesn't know, there owls and hard to read but thier judging him he can feel it.

Randomly the door swang open, revealing a boy drenched in grease with dark hair and a nose rivalling a mountain. Snape.

Why was he here? Come to shout at him? Punch him? It's not like he doesn't deserve it but he'd rather prefer the professors shout at him and friends punch him. Though he supposes Snape deserves to punch him as well, he did send him to his death.

The other boy opened his mouth, clearly shocked at finding me here, yet alone crying- Snape should be crying since he had a near death experience. He braced himself for anger, insults being flung at him and a punch or two but instead.

"It is you in here Black. Thought I heard someone on here, though I was hopping to have this room alone I suppose your good company"

What. That wasn't shouting. That wasn't even anger just, a normal monotone voice like always. Either he doesn't care, and really no matter how obvious that was the wrong answer he hoped it was the right one, or he's really angry.

But either one didn't matter when Snape sunk down to sit next to me, a vast change of positions from last time where he had been on my back, and just sat there.

It was awkward silence for eternity. Neither of us wanting to be there at that moment, not with each other- or anyone to be honest, but both enjoying the calming presence of the owls.

Mainly a snowy white owl, who looked to have the softest feather- so soft they could rival silk- and the largest golden eyes, specked with dusted of sunset orange that shimmered in the cool silver light of the full moon, now descending down the black night.

Finally after forever I broke the silence  
"I'm sorry"  
A Minuet later, all of it filled with snape staring at the white owl, he responded  
"I'm sorry to" lacking that plane sound when he speaks and instead sincerity filled his voice.

"What? Why are you sorry, I'm the one who put you on death's door doorstep and have ruined my friends life." Sirius spluttered, confuses at what the other had said

"And that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't pressured you into telling me. And I should have known not to bring that up, it was wrong of me and awful. So I feel we're even"

They weren't even. While Snape may feel that way Sirius didn't. He had sent him to his death. So what if he had threatened to share his biggest secret, that's no justification to murder him.

And Sirius told the other that. He shouted about it so loud he startled the owls who where staring, causing them to sqark attempt to fly out of their cages- a roaring combination of sounds shattered around the room, probably rattling around the halls.

Both staring at each other, Sirius breathing hard and panting, and snape in a state of shock they slowly looked back to the now settling owls, a comforting silence resting over them before shattered by a chocked back sob

"Sirius" snape asked, cautious of over stepping.  
"I'm a bad friend- heck I'm a bad person! I'm so far from a griffindor. I broke my loyalty to my friends and their trust, I'm couardly and pathetic! I can't even admit what's going on and just one person even mentioning it and I send them to their deqth! I'm not heroic and proud like a lion I'm poisonus and cruel like a snake" Sirius managed out sobbing and panting.

Confused on what to do snape just looked at him, thinking over how to respond to him, whilst Sirius just worked himself up more.   
"Your" he paused " you not 'poisonus' far from it. IM the poisonous one and should have known that that topic is to far. Sides. Hero's have limits and I pushed you so far over that limit I'm surprised you haven't hexed me yet of made fun of me atleast" he joked at the end, pulling Sirius into a hug.

"Your... not poisonous either. You were just curious, like a cat, and used your brilliant mind to work out a way to find out your answer." the curly, black-haired boy said into the others shoulder.

"Well they do say curiosity kills the cat" the straight, black-haired boy joked

"And satisfaction brought it back."

They stayed like that for a few mins, both basking in the comfort it brought, and enjoying it after all that happened today. Slowly they pulled back.

"Gross I'm going to have to shower for hourrrs to remove all this grease from you, and burn my clothes theirs no saving these, gressy snake"Sirius mocked

"Back to mocking me, it seems? I'm good with that, as long as we never talk about this again puppy" snape argued back.

"What am I not meant to remember? I only remember you interrupted my owlery time."

"Well I think your intruding on my owlery time"

And arfter that the chatter stopped and they both say there watching the owls dance in their cages until snape felt Sirius's head fall in his shoulder, half asleep.

Finishing the night snape said one last thing before sleeping himself

"If you ever want to talk about what's happening, people are here for you, I'm here for you and I'm sure your friends are. And it's not cowardly to come forward nor to not. But it is brave to stand up to it."

And the owlery was silent apart from the low Whoos coming from the birds around.


	6. closeted secrets  (james)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this is kinda based on my own coming out story with someone, but changed still since its Sirius and not me. I don't think I've done justice, but I've gotten bored of this fanfic and would prefer it to be done badly but finished, then forever incomplete.

Fluffy, soft white snow fell outside, piling up outside the frosted over windows of the dormitory. The breeze of mid-winter rattling the locks on them and whistling around. 

A scared, Sirius black layer on the floor, staring at the bland wooden beams of their roof as he fiddled with his splayed our hair. He slowly breathed in, waiting for James to arrive to talk to him. 

It was midway through Christmas holiday, after the events of the summer he was staying with the potters- who just happened to be away for this Christmas. Which meant that he and James were staying at Hogwarts, the only ones in Gryffindor, a strange abnormally. 

That also meant they were left alone with their thoughts more often, and Sirius’ had steered off in a queer turn. And that was why he was splayed out. 

After spending most his days with his thoughts for half of them, he’d been thinking more about some things that had been swimming around his head for a while. Sorting them out and organising them into a bigger mess. 

He had chosen to tell James something important, his broth- best friend being the first one to tell it to, but he was getting cold feet. The longer he waited for James to return from a run the less confident he became.

Just as he was about to get up and forget about it, the door flung open revealing the sweaty James, face flushed and panting. James glanced down at Sirius, mouth opening like a fish as he tried to comment something, but finding nothing would come to mind.  
“Hi, James” Sirius greeted, his voice forcefully monotone, but a slight shake to it still slipping through.

“Hey pads, why are you on the floor hun, no don’t answer that I already know, what happened hun,” James said, coming over and laying down next to him.

“This is going to sound really dumb, ok, and I’m probably going to ramble a lot before actually saying what I’m trying to say, cuss I always do that and I think I might be doing it now but I promise I’m trying to force it out and it just won’t come out James I-”

“Ok pads, I’m going to stop you there before you work yourself up any more than you already have. Lets just breath- that’s it deep breath. Now, what is it you want to tell me?” James said in a soft voice, slowly pulling Sirius into his arms.

“I think I might be gay. Or at the very least like men.” Sirius whispered, almost so silent that James couldn’t hear it. But he did. He also noticed Sirius slowly closing himself off from James and his eyes turning glossy.

“Hey, pads, that’s perfectly fine, nothing wrong- there never has and never will be anything wrong with that. I speak for all the marauders when I say this, we don’t care about that and love you anyway. Were going to be here for you forever.” And with those kind words, Sirius started sobbing of joy- for some reason not expecting James to accept it so easily.

James just held Sirius close, slowly whispering how proud he was of him until finally, he calmed down.

“Thanks for this, however, please, go wash. You stink worse than Snape.” Sirius joked.

“For once I agree with you, ill go shower then we go get food. I’m starving, and I want to fatten you up, you stick”


	7. Arival of consciousness (end)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its over, im done and I can start new fics ( ones I hopefully enjoy writing and have a better style.) speaking of new fics, I've started writing a new Sirius themed fic and will probably start posting chapters when I've got at least 10 chapters pre-written, in case I get a writing block or don't have time to write as often as I want. odds are I'll start posting over Christmas.

“Why isn’t he waking up”

“Harry calms down, Its powerful magic and who knows how the veil actually works. I’m sure he s going to wake up soon” Ginnys said, walking over and pulling Harry down into a hug.

“I know but, we’re so close to getting him back Gin. I’ve already lost him once- I don’t think I can do that again. Not after all the other deaths.”

“I know harry. I know.”

The rest of the group came in after that, having been interviewed by the ministry due to the magic they cast.

“What have the nurses said about his condition?” Hermione said, walking over to read over the papers the doctors had put together upon her request.

“Not good, but hopefully he should be up sometime soon, however, he won’t be walking for a month at least.” Ginny supplied, scooting over to read over Hermione’s shoulder.

“not all that surprising considering he technically should be dead right now. Still can’t believe we actually managed to pull this off- Without one of us losing our limbs.” Ron said, still sort of stunned that the whole thing worked. He hadn’t quite believed it when the man had fallen out of the veil, cold as ice and chest barely breathing, but they all rushed over to him checking or pulses and casting as many healing charms on him that they knew.

“I don’t mean to sound rude- and probably should have said this before we did the ritual- but do we really think this is what he wants. No, Harry hear me out. No one that he knew before he died is alive anymore. Remus is gone, and so many others are that he used to know. It’s going to hurt him so much.” Draco said, his voice confident, opposite to how he felt.

“Shut up Draco. He’ll be happy that he’s back and he’s got us- He’s got me.”

“Harry he wasn’t trying to say that- just that a lot of what he knew has changed, and he’s going to have a lot of mental issues due to this- more than he already had.” 

“ And I’ll be there for him.”

“Harry-” Ginny stated before Ron shouted  
“GUYS HE’S OPENED HIS EYES!”  
They all rushed around the man, and true to what Ron said, Stormy, grey eyes were open and staring up at the teens.

“James?”


End file.
